Till Death Do Us Apart

How true is this saying in the current scenario of ‘marry and divorce to remarry’ relationships? We have all seen Christian weddings on TV. And when the happy couple exchanges wedding vows, they promise to stay with each other till death does them apart. But how many of these couples actually stick with each other?

Here’s an analysis of the reasons relationships fail:

Dwindling Enthusiasm: Remember that magical time when you had first met your partner? Go back to the memories of those first few months of your marriage. He did come home before the whole town went to sleep. And you did remember to put on some lipstick and comb you hair before he reached home.
Today he gets home when you are too tired to do anything but feed him. And while he is telling you about his day, you doze off!

Not Sharing Each Other’s Burden: Who is the safai karamchari in your house? Does he ever help with any chores at all? I knew this couple from Chennai who experienced a very difficult time in their marriage. Shyam lost his high paying job as a challu Operations Manager for a bank. It took him almost four months to find a new job, and it didn’t pay that well either. Radha, meanwhile continued to spend as she always did. When they fell into a debt trap, Shyam suggested that Radha could tutor students and make some money. This offended Radha so much that she threatened to leave him!!!

Hypersensitivity To Control Issues: This is often translated as “I hate it when you tell me to do this or that and just remember you aren’t the boss of me.” It means having every request for compromise or a change in behavior result in some comment referring to “not needing a mother/father.” But we forget that people tend to criticise and advise people who are closest to them. If he’s doing this, it means he is watching out for your best interests.

Professional Jealousy: Where both the partners are working, it is important to demonstrate support for each other’s professional growth. It is often seen that if one partner is not doing too well at the naukri, he/ she might resent the growth and success of the spouse. This might be expressed directly or passively/passive aggressively by moping, irritability or other tensions. This results in the successful partner feeling a need to minimize his/her achievements or hide them in some way. So just try to be happy for each other.

Devotional Void: A lack of commitment or ardent love can make for unhappy relationships. Being friends or roommates is one thing. Being committed, loving soul mates is another. Being “in love” 24/7 doesn’t necessarily have to be a requirement, but being in a “loving” committed relationship can make the difference.

This list is not exhaustive and we’ll come up with more reasons and suggestions to deal with breaking relationships. Till then, be in love and show it!

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