Every night after her husband Parag has fallen asleep, Divya gets out of the bed. She picks up Parag’s cell phone, goes into their living room, and checks all his messages and call logs. She smells his shirts for ladies perfume before she does the laundry. She even keeps tabs on his FB and twitter pages, always looking out for new friends and followers. Diya was not always like this. But every since her sister caught her husband in an illicit affair, Diya is convinced that all men cheat, and she wants to catch Parag red-handed.
You can imagine what Parag must go through every day, having to answer umpteen questions about his whereabouts and other things. This is sheer madness, wouldn’t you agree? Yet, if you conduct a survey of your friends and colleagues, you would find that most wives indulge in active snooping. Why? The nature of our workplace, the time that we spend away from our spouse, and general breakdown of the institution of marriage are the main reasons. But equally responsible is the internet. We know that our spouses have so many online friends and any of those might turn into “more than friend” if our spouse is so inclined. We ourselves have such opportunities and hence realise how easy it is to stray these days.
But if you really respect your spouse and your relationship, snooping is the last thing you should do.
– Snooping doesn’t change anything. You find out about it soon enough, that’s true. But if he’s an avid cheater, he will obviously remove all possible signs of it and you won’t catch him. All you’ll do is upset yourself looking for proof!
– He deserves better. Just imagine, how would you feel if your spouse was doing the snooping on you?
– If there is so much mistrust between you, what’s the point of even being married?
– Research shows that 1/3rd of people getting divorced blame Facebook for their misery!
If you’re a snooping addict, you clearly need to do a lot of thinking about these things and come to a decision. Either you trust him, or you don’t!