“Why is it so difficult to communicate with parents?”
This is the question that almost all teenagers ask at some point of time. Blame it on the much hyped generation gap, or call it a mere difference of opinion. But barriers in communication always appear when you are trying to communicate with parents. Is it your fault? Or theirs? That’s a dumb question to ask.
The problem is that rebelliousness is an inherent part of teenage. When you are a teenager, you think you know everything. Everyone who doesn’t agree with what you say, think or do, is the ENEMY. On the other hand, parents also believe that they know what is best for you. They are still not acclimatized to the fact that you have grown up.
So, basically, it’s usually just a difference of opinion. If you want to improve your communication with your parents, it means that you love them a lot and that they matter. Always remember this when you talk with your parents about anything important. To improve the communication, you need to pay particular attention to certain issues.
Here is a list of issues that usually make teenagers and their parents take opposite sides of the battleground….
Choice Of Career Your parents envisioned you as a doctor (or teacher or whatever) on the day that you were born. They have seen and have nurtured that dream over all these years. While it is understandable that you should be what you want to be, please don’t give them “It’s my bloody life” attitude. Talk things out, try to win them over.
Friends Unless you keep the company of “book worms” from your class, your parents will almost always question your choice of friends. The problem is not really your friends. The problem is that your parents see your friends taking you away from the seemingly more important things. Once you understand this, it will become easier to keep your cool.
Relationships Parents find it hard to accept that their little daughter has grown up and might be interested in boys. Many Indian parents still want their kids to retain virginity till they get married! But things are changing and you can introduce change into your house as well. If you have a boyfriend, invite him over to meet your folks. Don’t hide things. Just be very open to discussion as well as advice.
Sex Again, Indian parents would rather pretend that their children are not interested in sex. But you are! Now there should be no compromise on this. Sex is for adults, and you are still a teenager. You could get pregnant or you could end up with a sexually transmitted disease. Either way, can’t you just wait for a few years?
There are many things that your parents try to influence you about. They want you to change many things. They want you to wake up early and go to bed early. They want you to keep your room clean. They want you to come home at a decent hour. They want you to be active….and the list goes on. But all these are really very minor things that are for your own good. If you take care of the 4 issues discussed above, you will find it easier to communicate with your folks, and vice versa.
In our next article in the series, we will discuss a few tips and suggestions on how to communicate with parents. Till then, Be Cool!