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Rachna and Rishabh have been married for 4 years. The last 3 have been spent fighting. Both Rachna and Rishabh feel that they are not the prefect soul mates for each other, yet they stay together for the sake of their 2 year old daughter. There are days when they don’t say even a word to each other, and there are days when the whole neighbourhood hears them screaming at each other. Is this how they are supposed to live the rest of their lives?

Sometimes people are just incompatible. Sometimes, there are complaints, hurt and pain that drive away all the love and affection from a relationship. What should be done in such a case?

If you are searching for help on this issue, it’s most likely that you have already tried to sort out your differences. Honest communication of your needs, expectations and complaints is very helpful. Often we assume that our partner understands our point and thinks the way we do, but it may not be true. Including a senior family member or a common friend you both trust is also useful when trying to sort out your differences. If nothing else, you could try a marriage counsellor.

If all these efforts fail to bring the two of you back together in the same spot, then probably you have outgrown each other. This is when you need to move on. You may or may not want to get into another relationship, but you should certainly get out of this one. A relationship where the partners do not communicate except when quarelling, is toxic. It harms not only the couple, but also the people around them – especially the children. You do not want your children growing up with a warped idea of how relationships should be. You do not want them to grow up thinking “Oh, I’m never gonna get married!”

So yes, if it’s toxic, you are better off without him!


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