Very often the victim of an abusive relationship finds it hard to accept this fact. Indian women are brought up to be subservient to the “pati parmeshwar”, so it is really not easy to accept that the husband-God has serious flaws! This is worse for women who are not financially independent. They have nowhere to turn and to please their man seems to be their purpose in life. The thought that perhaps this husband is not worth pleasing never occurs to them.

Most women think that actualy physical assault is what abuse is all about. But this is not true. Abuse can be physical or emotional. Here are a few things that constitute an abusive relationship.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

1. One partner blames the other for everything wrong in life. Accusations are a part of daily life and the victim of these accusations learns to live in fear.

2. Cheating on partner is another type of abuse. It is very difficult to even begin to imagine the pain that the partner who is being cheated on goes through.

3. Being over-possessive is also a sign of an abusive relationship. When a husband is always suspiscious of his wife, does not let her speak to males, and stops her from dressing the way she wants, it constitutes abuse.

4. Too much criticism is also abuse, especially when one criticises his/her partner in public. This is an abuse to the self respect of the victim and is as bad as physical abuse.

5. Sexual abuse is forcing your partner to perform an act he/she does not want to. If a certain sexual act gives pleasure to one partner and pain to the other partner, it is abuse!

6. Physical abuse is the last, yet very common form of abuse. 

If you observe any of these signs in your relationship, you are being abused. It is time to have a serious chat with your partner, and if required seek help from a counsellor.

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Lavanya Mehra


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