You may have heard of the term ‘love addiction’ and might even have used it to address your friends who just can’t get over their love life! But love addiction is a disorder that is much serious than you might be thinking. It is just like any other addiction, except, that it has to do with ‘relationships’. Because of the ‘love’ part of the addiction, people often don’t understand the gravity of the situation.
Romantic relationships are not the only type that cause Love Addiction to develop, it can stem from any of the following conditions: lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, hidden pain, early abandonment, unrecognized early needs, fears of rejection, pain, and lack of love or hope.
Love addicts have a fear of change. They will attach themselves to another person as to obtain that person’s identity for themselves. Having a very low self-esteem and lacking self-identity, the person chooses a mate or friend they would like to become. Crimes of passion, murder, suicides, and stalking, may bloom out of these relationships. Love addicts also strongly feel the need to control their relationships. They use sex to get their own way or in exchange for love!
When a person tries to break up with a love addict, the situation becomes very intense. It adds to the addicts’ already overloaded emotions.
If you doubt a person to be a love addict, watch out for the following characteristics:
• Is unable to trust in relationships
• Has an inner rage over lack of nurturing in childhood
• Battles with depression
• Tolerates high-risk behavior
• Has other addictive or compulsive behaviors
• Questions values and life all the time
• Has a frantic personality
• Denies problems
• Confuses wants as needs
• Replaces ended relationships immediately
They always suffer a deep feeling of fear and dependency. As soon as possible after a break-up, the addict will find another partner to avoid self-dependence. And instead of honesty and self-integrity, the addict is destructive to a loving partnership.
But Love Addicts are neither criminals, nor crazy lovers… therefore you should neither treat them as anti-social elements nor make them into a joke. They are patients and need medical attention. It is ‘love’ they are addicted to. It will not harm their livers or lungs like liquor or cigarettes. But if emotions get wild, it will surely harm their mental health! Psychiatrists can best understand them, and give them the right treatment… on your part, just make them feel loved and needed!