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Like all other addictions, addiction to work is also very harmful to a person and his/her family. Yet, it is the only addiction which is often seen as something positive. The society usually praises people who are addicted to work, confusing addiction with dedication. But this so called “dedication” to work can rob one of happiness in life and relationships. It is hardest on people who are married to such “workaholics”. Are you married to one?

How To Deal With A Workaholic Spouse

Long hours spent at work can ruin one’s relationships, especially a marriage. An obsession with work creates distance between a couple and leaves the spouse feeling unloved, unwanted and unimportant. If you are such a spouse, suffering from your partner’s addiction to work, you must read on to find ways of dealing with the situation. Here’s what you can do:

Keep Yourself Out Of It: Often wives of workaholics start believing that they somehow turn off their husbands, thereby driving them to work harder and longer. But this is not true at all. Addiction to work is due to a quest for success and self actualization. It is fueled by a thirst for perfection and need to feel significant. It has nothing to do with you. So stop thinking that you lack in any way; it is your partner who lacks the ability to balance personal and professional lives.

Don’t Be Jealous: It is often seen that a workaholic’s job is seen as a threat by his/her spouse. His job is not the “other woman” in his life. So try not to feel jealous of the time he spends at work and away from you. Take things positively, and you may be able to get your view across to him.

Be Supportive: Your partner will often tell you that he works hard because he wants to provide well for his family. Take his words at face value, even if you are tempted to fight with him. Try to be supportive if you wish to save your marriage.

Workout Together: Since he won’t spend much time relaxing at home, it is obvious that he neglects his health. Encourage him to start working out, and be his workout buddy. Make it a rule that he is not to discuss work while working out. This gives you time to spend with him, and is also good for both of you.

Maintain Contact: Don’t ignore your spouse because he is away. Do the opposite. Keep reminding him that you and your children are waiting at home for him. Maintain contact with him throughout the day. Short phone calls, SMSes, emails, anything. Just keep reminding him that you think of him.

Invite Him Into Your Activities: Every time you are involved in an activity with your children, offer him an invitation to be a part of it. But offer him an invitation that he doesn’t HAVE TO accept, meaning don’t pressurize him.

Foster Intimacy: Shower love and appreciation on your spouse. Try to foster a growing intimacy with him so that he realizes that the personal life is also very important and crucial for happiness. Make him feel loved, cherished and happy whenever he is at home.

Don’t Bitch: Whatever you do, don’t start bitching about your spouse to all and sundry. Appreciate him and what he does.

Yes, it will take a lot of effort and determination to do all these things. But if your marriage and family are important to you, then you just have to get across to your spouse. Love and patience are the only 2 things that will help you reach out to him.


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Shalini

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