Tsk Tsk Tsk!
To be dependant on anyone for anything can be really bad for one’s ego. But to be financially dependant is the worst kind. Whether it’s your parents or your children or your dear husband, financial dependence can only cause you pain and regret.
Preeti Chawla, the stay-at-home wife of a very successful architect is more than just a wife. She is a dutiful daughter-in-law and a great mother to her two teenagers. But take her relationships away from her and she is little else! This never bothered Preeti till a few years back. As her children have grown up, they need her less and Preeti finds a void in her life that she tries to fill with gardening and cooking. When we asked Preeti what bothered her the most about being a stay-at-home wife, she said, “I have no say in the family’s finances and it seems kinda right since I don’t contribute to them.” Now this smacks of self disgust and lack of confidence, doesn’t it?
If you think that babies will keep you busy and happy all through your life, you are completely wrong. As soon as they are old enough to take care of themselves, they will want you out of the picture. If you think you will never regret your decision to be a homemaker, you are wrong again. Read on why….
No Contribution, No Rights!
Even if your husband does not say it to you in as many words, he probably thinks it. What he does or does not think doesn’t matter anyway. Even you’re bound to think in this line, just like Preeti Chawla. Do you really want to give up your right to have a say in the financial decisions of the family?
Mightier Than Thou Attitude
Are you ready to deal with his “mightier (or holier) than thou” attitude? Most men fail to see a woman’s contribution in their homes. So all that cleaning, washing, cooking, bringing up the kids etc that you occupy yourself with, might just go unnoticed.
Mothers-in-law tend to be a little more patient and accommodating if the “bahu” brings in a paycheck every month. The reverse is also true usually. Your husband and his family are bound to look at you with much more respect if you add to the family’s income. You just need to work harder than him!
Treat Your Folks
Most women complain that their husbands do not let them give gifts to their own parents/brothers/sisters etc. Do you also feel the same? You can buy anything for your folks as many times in a year as you want…provided you foot the bill. Your husband will not have any right to stop you!
Fund Your Retirement
Actually, your husband is not the enemy. He is your partner and you want to see him happy and stress free, right? So any contribution you make towards the family’s funds will be welcome. Both of you can afford a better house, a better car, better education for the kids, a better lifestyle, and…early retirement, if you also contribute to the family’s funds.
All said and done, it is really your decision whether or not you want to be a homemaker. But you must remember that it was not ordained by the powers above that the woman stays at home while the man brings in the bread. This is just a way of balancing responsibilities that used to work great till a few years back. Now women want independence and an equal say in things. Wants and needs have also increased manifold. So it works for everyone if both the partners contribute to a family’s funds. But if being a homemaker is what you really want, then you should not let anyone talk you out of it!