Moving On After A Break-Up

By First Posted: Mar 9, 2010 Tue 5:56 PM Updated: Apr 14, 2019 Sun 8:43 AM
Moving On After A Break-Up
Image Credit: She Knows

Ridhi broke up with her fiance Shashi 3 months ago. They dated for 4 years before finally getting engaged and shocked everyone when they called off the marriage. Their parents thought it was a lovers' tiff and all would be well again in a matter of days. But the break up was real. Two weeks later Ridhi met Ravi and they hit it off immediately. She has been dating Ravi since then, but Ridhi still misses Shashi. She knows she is not in love with Ravi, who can only be called her "good friend" at the best. But she is still dating him only because she doesn't want to be alone.

Break-ups are never easy on anyone. Everyone who has ever been through a break-up knows that it is painful for both the partners, no matter who dumped whom. It is this pain that drives people insane with grief and they think that the world has come to an end. Some people turn to sad songs, others turn to dark solitude, and many look for relief in a rebound relationship. A relationship on the rebound gives one the confidence of "still being wanted", besides the thrill and pleasure of a new romance. But experts say that a broken heart needs time to recuperate.

Give Yourself Time To Heal Instead of doing a lot of "rona dhona" or jumping into a new romance, give yourself time and space to heal inwardly. Acknowledge your pain, and make a conscious effort to move on. Here's how:

Acceptance: As long as you keep hoping that "he" wil come back to you, you will not recover from your broken heart. The first, most difficult, and most important step towards healing a broken heart is to accept that the relationship has ended. It is extremely painful, yet it has to be done.

Sharing: The most helpful thing is to share your feelings with someone you trust. A friend or a relative can be this person. Start talking about the break up. As you talk about it, you will pace your way to peace. This talking about a broken relationship is necessary for closure.

Forgive: It is rare that only one partner is at fault. A break up usually means that both the partners had issues. But now that you have decided to go your seperate ways, it is best to bury the past. To do that successfully, you must forgive yourself as well as your partner for the mistakes you both made. Learn a lesson if you may, but don't carry the anger or hatred into your future. Forgive & forget!

Take A Break: No matter how temptiong it may be, do not jump into a new romantic relationship. Your heart needs time to heal before you can give it away to someone again. So take a break from romance and pursue hobbies or interests. Focus on yourself as an individual and try to expand your horizons by learning new things etc. In time, you will find that the mention of your ex does not make you want to tear out his eyes (or kill yourself) anymore. This is when you know that you are ready to move on. Your heart has healed and you are ready to move forward in life. Good Luck!

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