Can You Be Friends With An Ex?

By First Posted: Feb 20, 2010 Sat 1:17 PM Updated: Jan 6, 2015 Tue 2:37 PM
 
Can You Be Friends With An Ex?
Image Credit: Alarab

Pia Arora has been in an off and on relationship with Abir Mathur for the last 2 years. Last week they broke up once again, vowing to never get back together again. But Pia ia already missing her friend and wants to be friends with Abir. But Abir feels that becoming friends could again lead them back into the same quagmire of feelings and love-hate relationship. Do you think it is possible for Pia and Abir to ever be friends?

Can You Be Friends With An Ex-Lover? Break ups are never easy. They leave at least one partner (usually the one who gets dumped) disgruntled and heart broken. Even if a couple mutually arrives at the decision of parting ways, it is difficult to seperate without hurt feelings and broken dreams. In such a scenario, is it ever possible to be friends after the break up? Is it possible to forgive each other and to forget the hurt, moving from a romantic relationship to a platonic friendship? Many people say that men and women can NEVER be friends. So can two people who have been lovers, be friends?

The answer is YES! It is very much possible to be friends after the break up. But it is not easy. To maintain friendship with an ex, you must value him enough. Your friendship has to be important enough (for both of you) to make efforts to salvage it when the romantic side of your relationship fails. If you have recently broken up with your boyfriend, this article is for you. If his friendship means a lot to you, you should try to save it. Here are a few tips that will help you:

Save Only That Which Is Worth Saving: Being friends with an ex is not necessary. Think of it as an option only if you are really good friends and you both feel that the friendship is worth saving. Don't even think of it if the relationship has left you scarred from abuse or if you don't really like/respect each other.

Give It Time: You cannot break up one day, and be best friends the next day! Very personal feelings are involved here. You are both hurt and need time to grieve or get over each other. It is best to completely break off for a while. Give each other at least a month or two to heal, before you face each other.

Let Bygones Be Gone: If you are on talking terms and would like to stay friends, it is best to bury the past. Don't refer to what you had or how the other person hurt you etc. There's no need to refer to the past at all.

Set The Boundaries: You are progressing from a very close and personal relationship to a simple frindship. There have to be limits, and you should both respect that. Show respect for each other's privacy and don't forget that things have changed between you.

Jealousy?: If you still feel jealous of his new love interest, then you have probably still not gotten over him yet. If it bothers you much, make a rule that you won't discuss boyfriends and girlfriends for a while. Avoid this at least till you have both moved on.

Rethink: Re-evaluate your need for friendship with your ex after a while. Are you being friends only because you cannot imagine life without him? Is being friends making you uncomfortable and sad? Do you still wish you had more than friendship between you? Do you still feel broken hearted and blame him? If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, you must rethink on your decision to be friends.

 
 
 
 
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