How To Get Along With Your MIL? (Part 2)

By First Posted: Oct 23, 2009 Fri 6:31 PM Updated: Oct 23, 2009 Fri 6:33 PM
How To Get Along With Your MIL? (Part 2)
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Like thousands of Indian women, are you also wondering if it is possible to get along with your Mother-In-Law?

Most women pass through tumultuous relationships with their in laws after marriage. But there is nothing shocking in this. Resentment and strained relationships are to be expected when a new bride “takes away” the son of the family. But with time, things can be sorted out if you try to assuage the fears and insecurities of your in laws. Here are a few things that you can do to get along better with your MIL:

• Remember, it’s not personal. Your MIL has nothing against you personally. She would feel defensive and jealous, no matter who her son married. So don’t let her resentment affect you or your self esteem.

Help her in dealing with her insecurity. Is there a way for you to prove that you are not “taking her son away from her”? Do it. Ask your husband to spend some time with her every day. Avoid hogging all his time at home. Once she realizes you are not a threat, she will be more reasonable.

Look for her positive qualities. If she has raised her son to grow into your wonderful husband, she can’t be all bad, Right? Look for her good qualities and focus on the positives.

Appreciate and learn from her. If she is a great cook, complement her every now and then. Asking her to teach you cooking is a great way for you to bond with her. Show her respect, warmth and appreciation, and you will be just fine!

Encourage your kids to bond with her. If you live separately, make sure that your kids get enough time with their grand parents. Whenever you need parenting advice, go to your MIL. She will love to feel important and appreciated. Plus, who can give you any better advice?

Don’t argue or shout at her. If you do not agree on something or if she is in an angry mood, try to control your own anger. DO NOT fight with her. Let her cool off at the moment. Later, you can put across your viewpoint in a cool way. She will appreciate it if you respect her age and do not insult her.

Avoid involving your husband. First of all, it is unfair to him if you make him take sides. Moreover, if your husband does side with you, her resentment will only further increase. So try to deal with your problems on your own.

Try building bridges. The best way to make friends with your MIL, is to get to really know her. Spend time with her. Take her out for shopping or lunch. Talk to her and try to break the ice. The most important thing is to stop thinking of her as a demon. Be gentle and kind to her, as you would be to your mom!

Most women refuse to treat their MILs as they would treat their mothers for a simple reason. “She doesn’t treat me like she would treat her daughter.” Well, someone has to take the initiative, Right. Why can’t that someone be you?

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