How To Get Along With Your MIL? (Part 1)

By First Posted: Oct 20, 2009 Tue 6:02 PM Updated: Oct 20, 2009 Tue 6:03 PM
How To Get Along With Your MIL? (Part 1)
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Akriti got married to Akshay 3 months ago and they live with Akshay’s parents. It has been just 3 months since Akriti moved in with Akshay and his family, but her relationship with her in laws is already full of hatred and mistrust. Akriti’s Mother-In-Law disapproves of everything Akriti does and Akriti also shows no respect towards her MIL. Poor Akshay seems to be caught between this battle of the two most important women in his life. He feels miserable and torn. Both his wife and mother are unhappy with him, because he does not take any sides.

Does this sound like the description of your own married life? Lakhs of families all across India face the same challenges that Akriti, Akshay and his parents do. Let’s face it. Treating your parents-in-law like your own parents, or treating your daughter-in-law like your own daughter is easier said than done. The intention to do so may be there, but very soon jealousy and ego catch up with you and all your noble intentions go kaput! In such a scenario, is it possible to get along with your in-laws, especially your MIL? Is it even necessary?

Benefits Of Getting Along With In-Laws

Let us first address the issue of whether it is even necessary to get along with your in-laws. No matter how independent and strong you may be, it is always a good thing to get along with your husband’s family. Severing relationships will do no good to anyone, least of all to you. Here’s why:

Think about your husband. Will he be able to forgive you for creating a gap between him and his parents? Try to put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he hated your parents and tried to keep you away from them? If you don’t make an effort to get along with his family, he might return the favor!

You need the support. If you are a working woman, there is no end to the support that you will get from your in-laws, especially your MIL. If you make a little effort to gel with your new family, it will become much easier to balance your family and work lives.

Do you remember your grandparents? Most of us do because we have spent a lot of time with them. Why would you want to deprive your children of this great happiness? Don’t you want your children to enjoy the love of grandparents? It is also wrong to deprive your in-laws of the chance to spend time with their grandchildren.

You are setting an example. Remember, whatever you do or say, your little children are watching and learning. Do you want them to become loving and kind adults, or would you rather parent them into mean and selfish individuals? Living with grandparents helps in better development of children.

It’s not very difficult. Why would anyone want to be considered a bitch without even trying to be a friend? Your in-laws are the most important people in your husband’s life, apart from you. The least they deserve is an honest attempt from you!

Getting along with in-laws is quite difficult most of the times. Today everyone seems to nurse a big ego, irrespective of sex, age, position etc. So the chance of things going wrong between you and your in-laws cannot be negligible. But before you completely give up on this, you MUST give it an honest try.

In our next article in the series, we will give you tips and pointers which will help you in cementing your relationship with your MIL. With the help of our tips, you will be able to carve a loving, kind and trusting relationship with your new family. Though the success varies from family to family, the cause deserves an attempt!

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