Divorce rates in India are at an all time high today. Combined with the untimely loss of spouse, this leads to a large number of single parents in our society. The Indian society has changed a lot in the last two decades and second marriages are quite common now. But it is very difficult for a single parent, especially a single mom, to meet new people or start dating again.Single moms who start dating often deal with confusion, guilt and sometimes resistance from children. This makes dating even more difficult for them. So Memsaab brings “Dating Tips” for all the Single Moms out there…
Dealing With The Kids: Children are very vulnerable and will resist anything that they see as losing the only parent they have. So you need to be very gentle and slow with them.
When you start dating, just tell them that you are going out with a friend. If dating turns into something serious, introduce him to your kids and give them some time to mingle with him. Once they start bonding, you can inform them of any decisions you may make.
Be Aware Of What You Want: You may have to date plenty of guys before you find the right one. But this may end up hurting your children, and frankly, do you have the time for it? So it is important to know yourself. Be aware of what you want in a guy and go for someone who fits the bill. No compromises. Learn
To Enjoy: Most single moms go on a guilt trip every time they leave kids behind to go on a date. Don’t let this happen, because it will effectively ruin all chances of your forming a new relationship. When you are out with a guy, give your attention to him. Relax, and enjoy yourself. Give happiness a chance. Be
Sensitive: Often kids perceive a competition for attention of their single parent who is dating someone. So if there are certain activities you indulge in together as a family, do not compromise on those in order to adjust your dating schedule. Make sure that your kids know that they never have to compete for your attention and love.
Don’t Look For A Dad, But…: When you start dating, look for a partner and not for a dad to your kids. Look for a guy who will make you happy. But at the same time, it is important to see how your new partner treats your children. Does he realize that your kids are your first priority? Is he OK with it or does he grudge it? Does he try to discipline them or complain all the time? These little things can tell you if he’s the right guy or not.
Be Fair To The Guy: When you start dating, you’ve got to keep the emotional baggage at home. This guy is with you for now, and expects to have a good time with you. If you are always talking about your kids and their problems, please don’t expect him to ask you out for any more dates.