Are You Over-Possessive? (Part I)

By First Posted: May 15, 2009 Fri 5:54 PM Updated: May 15, 2009 Fri 6:11 PM
Are You Over-Possessive? (Part I)
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A little possessiveness and jealousy can be seen in most man-woman relationships. But what happens when the possessiveness or jealousy goes overboard?

Mildly Possessive Or Over-Possessive?

It’s just a streak of possessiveness if you don’t approve of him complimenting other women at a party. But if you constantly hound him at this party, just to make sure that he does not speak to any other woman, you are taking it too far!

Do you check his Orkut/Facebook account at least 5 times a day?
Do you scan his cell phone call records and messages every evening?
Do you call him at least 5 times everyday just to check on him?
Do you keep asking questions about where/with whom he is?
Do you check his email box every few hours?
Do you have nightmares about his female boss/secretary having an affair with him?

If you have answered in the affirmative to most of these questions, you are Over-Possessive.

Is It OK To Be Over-Possessive?

No it’s not OK to be so overtly possessive of your partner. Everyone needs breathing space in relationships. So if you are constantly on his heels, trying to keep him to yourself, you are wrong. Partners of over-possessive people are often emotionally distraught, depressed and unhappy with their lot. They can feel the lack of trust in the relationship and are hurt by it.

The mistrust and jealousy often lead to break down of communication lines, and later, the relationship itself. So if you are committed to your relationship with your partner, make sure that you give him enough space.

I Don’t Think I Am Over Possessive

Often people complain that their partner misunderstands their intentions. What can you do if your partner accuses you of being over-possessive, but you are sure that you are not? If you feel that you are wrongly accused of a personality trait that you do NOT have, you need to see things from his perspective. Maybe you are giving out some signals without realizing it?

To learn How Not To Appear Over-Possessive, do come back to read our second article in this series. Till then, “be more trusting, gals!”

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