Eyeing Your Best Friend’s Ex?

By First Posted: Dec 24, 2007 Mon 12:39 AM

You are not alone! In the modern broad-minded and open world people have learnt to accept break ups and move on. Strictly speaking, this means that you get together with a guy, date a few times, perhaps fall in love, fight, break up and move on. All of these stages are more or less acceptable in our society. But when you plan to do all of these things with the guy your best friend went out with….it’s a completely different story.

All your common friends will eye you suspiciously. All your friends will probably avoid introducing you to their boyfriends. And you’ll be rechristened ‘Boyfriend snatcher’. Even your best friend’s bai will look down upon you! You’ll be treated as the scum of the lowest order. And we have not yet gotten to how your best friend will react to this development in your life!

But sometimes it so happens that you meet a guy and instantaneously you feel he’s the one for you. If this happens when your best friend introduces you to her boyfriend, you probably want them to break up! And when you get the sad news after a couple of months or so, you cannot help but smile. You tend to smile flirtatiously every time you see him. You can’t help responding positively if he shows the slightest interest in you.

So are there any circumstances when it’s considered OK to date your best friend’s ex?

• He has to be a real cutie or hottie. You cannot break the unspoken rules of dating for someone who’s not even worth the trouble. Make sure he’s worth every bit of all the trouble you may encounter.

• You must feel something special for him. You owe it to your best friend, gal. you cannot risk hurting her feelings for a casual fling. Take the chance only if you feel that special bond with her ex.

• Your best friend should have broken up with him at least a couple of months back. If they broke up just yesterday, you’ll find yourself breaking up with her too tomorrow. So don’t do it, if the pain of break up is still fresh.

• You have to be sure that your best friend has moved on. It is much preferable if she has settled into a new relationship and is happy. But even if she hasn’t, be sure of her having gotten over ‘him’.

• Last but not the least, ask her. C’mon, she’s your best friend. You’ve probably shared everything, right? So ask her directly if she’s OK with your seeing her ex. If she has any issues at all, take them seriously and reconsider.

All these points have to be taken care of if you want to date your best friend’s ex and still be friends with her. If these little tips do not seem to be working out, make a choice. It has to be your best friend, or it has to be ‘He’, the disputed guy.

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