Listen to me! doesnt help. Neither does, Do you hear what I say? With your teenager kids, commands and orders are the last things on earth that work! If they do not want to listen to you, they will not no matter what! They believe they are big enough not to listen to anyone, except themselves, especially if you are telling them to or what you are saying is contradicting their own beliefs. Many times, these constant efforts from you to make them learn to listen and respect, and from them to deny and contradict, ultimately results in a sour relationship with your own sweet, little, immature darlings!
With teens at your home, the way out is not to force them into having a respectful relation with the other family members, but to get them into confidence! They are actually not immature, but learning, and striving really hard to become mature! They need your help, without them knowing that! They dont like to be perceived as dependents but they are, quite! So, they need two things from you: patience and guidance in disguise
Tell your teenager, "I want to have a good relationship with you." They actually dont know this unless your tell them.
Tell your teenager, "Im on your side.", even if you arent. Once you have won their confidence, you can tactfully guide them your way. It is simpler than you think.
Ask your teenager, "What is the one thing you would like me to do that would improve our relationship?" Now listen he/she might have a point. Something might really be lacking. If not, reason out things to him/her. But all the while, try to make him/her feel that you do agree to his/her thinking.
Ask, Will you be patient with me, Im learning too? It is not all that made up. You are learning. Firstly, you are learning to deal with a teenager (that is quite a job!). Secondly, there actually might be things that you learn from you not-so-learned teenager! The world is changing and they might just be catching up faster than you!
Make a sincere effort to do what they ask.
Thank them for making whatever (little or big) effort they make to get the relationship going smooth. Remember appreciation works best!