Please help me!!

Submitted by Srividhya on Sun, 05/10/2009 - 19:24.

Hi friends,

My husband works with a reputed MNC and we have a 3 year old daughter . I was earlier working as a CRM Advisor with Reliance BigFlix,Chennai and I was laid off on March 31. Since I have prior experience with international call centers, I am getting offers for UK and US shift. But, I cannot take up the job with US/UK bpos since I have nobody to take care of my daughter and ours is a nuclear family. All the daycare centres work from 9 am to 7pm only and I am unable to get a job in the regular working hours. The jobs available during day pay very less and I don't want to settle for a lesser salary than what I received last. My husband works 12-15 hours a day and works on weekends also. He uses our home "only" for sleeping . At times when he is awake, he plays with our daughter. Although ours is a love marriage, he has no interest in sex. We have been married for 8 1/2 years. But, till now,we would have had sex only 30 times or so. Oflate,it has been 1 year since we had sex and he is wedded to his job only. He spares no time for me and seldom he talks to me. He wants me to be a housewife and take care of everything at home so that he can concentrate on his work. But, I cannot sit at home.I feel very depressed and I have no interest in life. I even had suicidal tendencies after I was laid off. Since I cannot vent out my anger and frustation in any other way, I am showing my irritation towards my poor child. I beat her and scold her for almost everything.I really don't feel like getting up in the morning and I cannot sleep till 2 or 3 in the mornings. I have told my husband that I want to talk to him . He will spare some time for me. But, finally, he will have some official work or his momor friends will call him or simply he will say that he wants to relax and finally go off. He does not want to call me or sms me even when he is out of station. He is always stressed because of his work and finds fault with me whenever he is at home and this ends in a fight. Can anybody suggest a solution for my problem or help me?

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Submitted by sayantani (not verified) on Mon, 10/05/2009 - 09:34.

Hi, the best option for u is

Hi, the best option for u is to find a part-time job for the time being as this will keep your mind distracted. u need to spend time with urself. Please remember once children grow up they have their own lives and then we mothers are left behind to repent. So now it is not too late. So wake up and follow your heart. Divorce/ Separation are very easy ways of ending a relationship. The only way to sustain any relationship is to give it some time and space. Your husband's maltreatment towards you is only due to stress, I believe (if not anything else). Simply ignore him and when he argues of shouts just walk out of that room...and do not torture ur child...that's going to harm her in her future. let her childhood be like a poetry. And keep ur fights/ quarrels out of her sight.

So last but not least, LOOK FOR A JOB. Keeping a nanny at home is a good idea too provided she does not interfere in domestic matters. My one did. So I threw her out. I am an MBA and after having worked for the last 8 years in senior designations and with good organisations now am sitting at home for my son. But I am freelancing too. Writing is my passion. Oops... no lectures to u...just a friendly advice....

Submitted by punjabi_babe on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 15:11.

U should immediately pack ur

U should immediately pack ur bags and leave with ur kids. That will shock him out of his stupidity. Wen he comes to talk to u...make him understand that u cannot live with him like this.

Submitted by Raj_Oberoi on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 15:06.

hey...r u OK? pls share ur

hey...r u OK? pls share ur rsponse to these suggestions?

Submitted by Shalini on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 15:57.

I think Delhigal is right.

I think Delhigal is right. If a night job is what u really want, u shud be looking for practical solutions to your problem. Getting domestic help is one solution. If you have in laws who can come and live with u, that cud be another solution. But pls don't give up your career because of non-cooperation of ur husband.

Submitted by Delhigal on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 15:21.

Maybe you should try to find

Maybe you should try to find a live-in bai who can be trusted to keep your child safe and sound while you are away at work. But seriously, if you already have problems about spending time with your husband, will getting a night time job help?

Submitted by shalz on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 16:17.

I think the most important

I think the most important thing for you two right now is to talk. Is he delibrately trying to avoid you? Sometimes, men do that, to cover up an affair or sth else. Is he really working that hard? Are you sure he is at work whenever he says he is?

There seems to be a lot of finding out that you need to do. Why is he behaving so? If he really is working so hard, it won't be long before he burns out. So you need to do sth abt this ASAP. And yes, don't let him treat you like dirt, as the guy above says...

Submitted by Raj_Oberoi on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 15:28.

I think you should just

I think you should just leave him on his own. Don't let him treat you like dirt!