NAME:
Lookin For Work

DESIRED POSITION:
Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatevers available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldnt be applying here in the first place. Can beggars be choosers?

DESIRED SALARY:
Rs. 10 Lacs a year plus stock options and an obscenely high severance package. If this sounds a little more than what you have in mind, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Not required. I didnt get one as a kid, why would I bother now? Thanks anyway.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Punching bag. Thats how they treated me!

LAST SALARY:
Much less than Im worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. And they are not only yellow! ;-)

REASON FOR LEAVING:
I was made to. The boss was too irritable and impatient. He could not deal with my happy-go-lucky style of working. Personally I think I had begun to give him an inferiority complex!

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Will have to consult my diary.

PREFERRED HOURS:
3.00 - 4.30 p.m., Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but theyre better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
Not yet. But that will change (of course) after you hire me!

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I have been the winner of almost all antakshri and ludo contests at my previous job.

DO YOU SMOKE?
Only Hawaiian cigars.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in Hawaii with an obscenely rich business tycoon who thinks Im the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, Id like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE:
Cusp of Pisces and Aquarius.