Reva divorced her husband of four years last winter. The reasons are best known to the couple. But Reva discloses that life has not been smooth since the divorce. While there is more peace in her life sans all the fighting and screaming, some things have not changed. She is still lonely. At times she misses Suresh and thinks about him. Sometimes she wonders if divorce was the right decision. She often gets “the look” from her male colleagues and neighbors. Why can’t they let her live in peace, she wonders! Her identity seems to have changed. More than anything else, people now know her as “the divorcee”.

Reva is not alone in all this suffering. Other divorced women like her also go through the same pangs of regret, guilt and humiliation. But it is for us to change the attitude of the society towards divorced people, especially the women. If you are on the brink of a divorce, you will surely need a lot of patience and a good dose of self assurance and self sufficiency. If you have read the first article in this series, you will probably be aware of the emotional issues related with a divorce.

Here are some ways in which you can make your “single again” life more meaningful, interesting and livable. Most of it is common sense really. The basic fact that you always need to remember is that “you are entitled to happiness and joy, just like anyone else”.

Be Friends With Your Ex

This may sound difficult, but it isn’t really. It just requires a decision. Once you have decided to be friends with him, you will find out that it’s rather easy. If you wonder why you should be friends with someone you hate, there are many benefits of this. The first and most important benefit is that you will be able to move on in life. As long as you continue to hate him, you will be stuck with him. If you really want to move on, you’ve got to let go of all your complaints, hatred and differences. Make friends with him.

This is especially important if you have any children. The divorce is anyway going to rock their little world. Why would you want to make it more torturous for the children by hating each other?

Build A Social Circle

Surround yourself with well meaning friends who can be your biggest support in this time of distress. If you have not had a social life so far, build one now. You can meet people in parks, malls, coffee shops, beauty parlors, at work, or anywhere else at all. Be friendly and approachable. Please do not wallow in self pity and stay at home! That is a very unhealthy thing to do. You owe it to yourself to make new friends and move on in life.

Cultivate A Hobby

Hobbies can be fun, useful and time consuming. What else do you need? Learn new things that can take your mind off the divorce. You could learn singing, dancing, painting, playing an instrument, aerobics, gardening, cooking, or anything else. These things are known to be good for your general health, both physical and emotional.

Take Care Of Yourself

This is very essential. Most women stop taking care of themselves after marriage. And a divorce takes care of whatever little self interest is left. Don’t let this happen to you. Take care of your looks, for nobody but yourself. Take care of your health for yourself. Remember, “you” are important. So join a gym or start yoga/aerobics. Get a new wardrobe. Get a manicure, a pedicure, some facials! Go pamper yourself. Just because there’s no man in your life, would you stop taking care of yourself?

Divorce is painful, nobody is denying that. But at some point you’ve got to stop pining and move on. So why not today? Even if you’ve lost your Prince Charming, you can still live life Queen Size!!!