Forgiving and forgetting your partner’s affair is much easier said than done! Even if you value your relationship/marriage a lot, it is difficult to overcome the hurt and humiliation. You might decide to swallow your pride to save your marriage, but even then it might not be possible!

What do you do if you find yourself in such a situation? Wanting to forgive, but unable to? Or, what if you are not ready to forgive or forget at all? What should a person do in this situation? How does one salvage one’s ego and pride/ Is there a way to get back or get even? Actually, there are many ways to get even…

• First of all, grab the possession of your most valuable financial/real estate assets. If you are already in possession of the swanky car or the big bungalow or all the cash sitting in your bank accounts, your partner will have a tough time trying to negotiate with you!

• Now get in touch with a really good (read tough) divorce lawyer. Get solid legal advice before you lay out your cards. It is important that you don’t do anything impulsive here. It is difficult to not feel emotional in such a situation, but to safeguard your and your kids’ future, you need to be ruthless and mean at the moment!

• It is important that you collect your kids and “Don’t Run Away”! Why should you have to leave? Make him/her leave the family house. In fact, throw out his/her clothes and change all the locks.

• If you really want him/her to suffer the same humiliation that you have gone through, you need to get tough. No, I am not saying that you should have an affair too. But you can surely disgrace him/her publicly? Throw out all his/her personal belongings on to the street.

• Why should you protect him/her? Often people hide such shameful behavior of their partners. But if you really want revenge, tell everyone what he/she has done to you. Show everyone what a characterless person your partner is so that nobody has any sympathy for him/her!

• Make sure you get enough proof of your partner’s affair. Unless you have real proof, you will not be able to prove anything in court. Your monetary compensation will also be affected by availability or lack of proof against him/her.

All these things are meant to safeguard your future and also that of your kids. There are other ways of getting back at your cheating partner and the “other woman/man”. You could try them too if that makes you happy. But you’ve got to come to terms with the fact that “getting even” is just a part of your healing process. It is a “means’ to your “goal” of healing. Never let revenge become “the goal” itself!