We all know what anger is. From a mild irritation to full fledged rage, almost everyone has experienced all levels of anger. It is an emotion that is experienced as a reaction to situations that bring disappointment, disgust, shame, hurt, pain, confusion, sadness etc. even though the emotion is experienced by all, a few people find themselves completely in grip of anger. They feel like anger has taken over their lives. Such people cannot retain any relationships and they actually scare people away with their anger.

Hey hold on! Though anger sounds like a real menace, it doesnt always have to be so. With the correct anger management techniques, you can actually use your anger for your betterment. Dont worry; he wont get rid of you because you have a short temper! Once you are done reading this article, you will find yourself better equipped to deal with situations and control your temper.

Expressing Anger

The natural way in which people tend to express anger is aggression which may be accompanied with violence. But the social norms dictate that we cannot and should not express anger in this way. Can you really scream at or slap your mom in law without having to face the music later on? Na na na! Can you really beat up your boss when he shouts at you 9even though you are dying to)?

There are three ways in which anger can be expressed. People consciously or unconsciously use these ways as a way to react and deal with the situation.

Assertive Expression: people learn to express anger in an assertive way, without turning violent or aggressive. This is by far the healthiest way to react to situations and people that anger you.

Suppression: When people feel that expressing anger is useless or harmful, they often suppress anger. Some people believe that suppressed anger can be used to modify behaviour and get constructive results. All this can be true for people with high levels of motivation. But the danger of hurting yourself lurks in here. If you continue to suppress anger, it might get redirected inwards. This means you may feel angry with yourself or face problems like hypertension, depression etc. you also run the risk of becoming the perpetual cynic.

Calming Down: Lucky are the people who learn to calm down. Some people train themselves to calm down outwardly, focus on other things, meditate etc. if you practice meditation when feeling angry, you can calm down both outwardly as well as on the inside. You have to control your responses, control your heart beat and finally, let the feelings of anger subside.

There are anger management techniques for people who fail to limit their responses to these three types. If you feel you cannot assertively express, suppress anger or calm down, just hang in there till we bring you the next article in this series. Anger is not meant to be an unhealthy emotion. If it is becoming an unhealthy emotion for you, you certainly need to take steps to control it.