There is a very fine line between helping out a loved one and becoming theirATM. Suppose youre the first member of your family who managed to get to university and earn a degree, which is now rewarding you with a good income. Some of your family members probably earn far less than you, or may even be unemployed. So you start helping them out with expenses. This begins as an act of kindness, but before long the people youre helping begin to regard it as a monthly income which youre suddenly obligated to continue paying, or you risk being labeled disloyal, ungrateful and mean. Helping a family member out with food and school fees is one thing, but buying them designer shoes and other luxuries should be strictly off limits. Heres how to avoid being used.

Work out your own budget and goals
The first step is to work out your own budget and goals. After your basic needs have been taken care of, you can see how much you have left over to share with those less fortunate.

Make a judgment call
You have every right to make a judgement call if the person asking you for money isnt putting it good use.

Decide on your part
If theyre battling due to a job loss, illness or bereavement, helping them with foodand basics is acceptable. However, if theyre simply lazy and have decided youre theirATM you need to be firm. Dont say them harsh words, on the contrary, encourage them to seek employment and help them look for a job, if possible. Even a low-paying position is better than nothing and means less pressure on you.

Call a family meeting
A good idea is to call a family meeting and make sure everyones pulling their weight. Ultimately, you deserve to be financially independent:after all, youve made the effort to educate yourself and get a good job. You dont have to compromise your future in order to keep anyone else afloat. This is the only life you have, and you have an obligation towards yourself as much as to others.