Should You Forgive Your Husband If He Cheats?

By First Posted: Apr 26, 2011 Tue 7:24 AM Updated: Jul 29, 2016 Fri 12:55 PM
Should You Forgive Your Husband If He Cheats?
Image Credit: 3 D total

Anjali Khurana has written in with this question and her letter goes like this:

“Dear Memsaab

My husband of 23 years has left me for a younger woman. I have been shocked with this turn of events and am still trying to hide it from people I know. I feel publicly humiliated and cheated. I cannot understand how he could do something like this. As far as I know, he loved me very much and was a great husband and a wonderful father all these years. So what happened suddenly that changed his outlook and wrecked my whole family? He seems to be happy with his new love. But I am unable to cope with this situation. I want to kill both of them for doing this to me. I demand revenge. But a part of me wants to forgive him for the sake of the love that we once shared. What should I do?

Humiliated Lady”

Dear Humiliated Lady

It is not difficult to imagine your mortification and distress at the turn of events your family life has taken. We understand that you want to hurt your husband and enjoy his pain. This is normal human behaviour. The other feelings that you have decsribed are also natural. You have shared 23 years of your life with him and were very happy during those years. So it is difficult to forget all those memories and hate him forever.

The thought of revenge may be a pleasing one, but if something bad happened to your ex-husband, you would feel very sorry. He has treated you badly, but that does not mean you have to return the favor. As long as you nurse the revengeful intent, you shall not be able to move on in life. The feelings of humiliation and revenge fuel your pain and will never let you heal your heart. When you married this man, you promised him to keep him happy. If this is what makes him happy, then so be it. Try to move on and leave behind the memories and pain. Whoever said “forgive and Forget” was a wise person and this is the only way to live your life going forwards.


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