Progressing From Dates To A Relationship

By First Posted: Jul 23, 2007 Mon 10:12 PM Updated: Dec 8, 2007 Sat 4:03 PM

Sarita has dated at least thirteen men in the last eight months. Her friends tell her she is too finicky and fickle to stick with a guy. She herself has a nagging fear that men find her unattractive and this is the reason why she can’t hold on to any relationship. The only serious relationship she had lasted for three months and was so full of tension that she was relieved when she finally cut the chord.

Do you feel you are sailing in the same boat as Sarita? Do you also find it difficult to stay in a relationship for more than a few weeks?

Don’t worry! Dating and relationship help is on hand for every Memsaab. You may not realize but you are probably making one of the many common dating mistakes that women make. Here’s a list of a few mistakes that you can avoid making in the future if you pay a little attention and read this article now.

Bringing Up The M Word Every Now And Then:

As we all know men are usually as scared of commitment as you are of cockroaches. Don’t scare him away with the mention of marriage and commitment every time you meet. The initial phase of a relationship is meant for getting to know each other and not for discussing your wedding plans. Keep it that way. And you may progress to the ‘planning for wedding’ stage.

Have Some Morals:

While it is wrong for us to be judgmental about anything or anybody, here’s some practical and sensible advice. Indian men don’t have a high regard for women who hit the sack on the first or the initial dates. And doing this also adversely affects development of the emotional aspect of your relationship. So take your time and first get to know each other.

Becoming The Daaku-Haseena:

It is true that some men like their women to be dominating at times. But this is not how all men like their women to behave at all times. If you are acting like a ‘daaku-haseena’ and bullying the hell out of him, chances are that he may just walk out on you. So leave the aggression and the bullying at home or at work when you go on a date. There’s no scope for over-aggression in personal lives and relationships.

Sizing Up Other Men:

When on a date, try not to stare at other men. Not only will he notice, but will also hold this against you. On a larger scale, try not to compare your guy with other men. Try to avoid the trap of ‘I could have done better’. Falling in this trap could mean that you never feel happy about any guy you date, and thereby you never progress from dates to a relationship.

Take ‘No’ For An Answer:

We know it is difficult to be rejected, but you need to accept a ‘No’ graciously and move on. If a guy dumps you or doesn’t respond to your designs on him, just accept it and move on. Spending hours moping about a guy is such a wasteful activity. You could be spending all those hours with someone else if you learn to move on.

Opposites Attract:

But similarities endure longer. When evaluating a guy and a relationship, always try to find out the compatibility factor. Try to find out his goals and priorities in life. Move further only if these are in line with yours. Otherwise you are certainly doomed for splitsville.

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